Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
