You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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