i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?