Texts From Last Night

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  (804): View more from Virginia

  i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.

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  (804): i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick. http://tfl.nu/aodk
  Replies (2) Good night (1707) Bad night (706)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot

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  (603): So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot http://tfl.nu/44v5
  Replies (22) Good night (4512) Bad night (695)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?

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  (516): Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right? http://tfl.nu/loiq
  Replies (9) Good night (3747) Bad night (644)
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  (818): View more from California

  I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.

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  (818): I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off. http://tfl.nu/7sly
  Replies (27) Good night (680) Bad night (4198)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number

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  (843): he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number http://tfl.nu/katp
  Replies (20) Good night (678) Bad night (6897)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.

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  (919): Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment. http://tfl.nu/yr4f
  Replies (10) Good night (3338) Bad night (1944)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.

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  (804): I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either. http://tfl.nu/j4vn
  Replies (5) Good night (3894) Bad night (1024)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?

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  (678): thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right? http://tfl.nu/2evi
  Replies (7) Good night (2226) Bad night (1105)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.

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  (740): This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod. http://tfl.nu/pyaj
  Replies (9) Good night (1944) Bad night (739)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte

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  (845): I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte http://tfl.nu/yyhp
  Replies (3) Good night (1315) Bad night (740)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.

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  (312): I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos. http://tfl.nu/0zir
  Replies (3) Good night (1073) Bad night (534)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.

  (904): View more from Florida

  Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again

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  (904): i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying. (904): Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again http://tfl.nu/fp8z
  Replies (2) Good night (485) Bad night (898)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team

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  (813): You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team http://tfl.nu/nq8a
  Replies (6) Good night (898) Bad night (423)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today

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  (334): I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today http://tfl.nu/v8gh
  Replies (0) Good night (329) Bad night (448)
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  (415): View more from California

  The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.

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  (415): The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese. http://tfl.nu/s07p
  Replies (0) Good night (329) Bad night (103)

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