Yo dont text me then not text me
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!