playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
zippers are such a cool invention
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
