We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
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