I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
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Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
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Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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