Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
