he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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