Got a toothbrush?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
