ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize