I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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