So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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