He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
