I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
