Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i think i scared a bird with my dick
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
