so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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