is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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