3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
