I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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