They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
