hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
