Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
