Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
