how can u be prego again
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
