Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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