yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
