u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
