Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up

Fav 27 6251 1115
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(301): View more from Maryland

Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.

Fav 71 20511 2512
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(740): View more from Ohio

i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation

Fav 12 1472 2926
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(614): View more from Ohio

ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund

Fav 8 2866 1639
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(662): View more from Mississippi

I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god

Fav 6 955 1672
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.

Fav 5 2062 1054
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(785): View more from Kansas

I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media

Fav 3 717 461
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"

Fav 0 8 46
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