You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
