Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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