i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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