There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
