and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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