He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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