she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
My penis needs a shock collar
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
