u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
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You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
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Shitshow foam night was such a success
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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