Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
No more Irish car bombs ever.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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