Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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