You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
