Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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