So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
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