Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
