doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I need to align my fucking chakras
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
