my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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