Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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