he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
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