the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
