Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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