I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
