i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I just sucked dick on a ferry
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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