im drinking this country out of the recession.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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