is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize