ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
