So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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