i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
