i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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