Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
