escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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