just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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