Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
