did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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