Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
My friends, they love my intelligence
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I need to wash the frat house off of me
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
