it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
