She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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