dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize