Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
