So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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