This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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