Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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