We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
