so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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