Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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