READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
